February 20, 2012
Thakur Village residents have erupted in joy. In an unprecedented declaration, the International Group, Astronomy Divine, that has the sole responsibility of all lunar affairs on earth has declared Thakur Village as the first officially sanctioned recipient of the tag “Satellite Township” of the Moon.
Various other neighborhoods were in the fray for this honor, but Thakur Village beat them hands down. Mr. Dig-It-All-Kar, the chief supervisor of the civic work currently in Thakur Village said “I took the responsibility personally to ensure that I do not let the residents of this locality down. I could sense that there would be tough competition from other neighborhoods, so I ensured that we got along a few extra diggers and we took inspiration from the Shiv Sena slogan for the BMC election “Karun Dakhavla”. The Congress Party however has taken exception to the fact that the supervisor got inspiration from the Shiv Sena slogan. They have in fact hijacked it by saying that their symbol the hand was what the workers used to dig and dig and dig. And hence they want the credit.
The Chief Minister has congratulated the neighbourhood on this stupendous achievement and is confident that with this achievement, Maharashtra will be able to get additional Foreign Investment. When a puzzled reporter asked him why, he was quick to retort that various countries have expressed their interest in setting up the Space Training centers in Thakur Village. There are already proposals from various countries to setup their moonwalk practice sessions for their astronauts who are working on the “Mission Moon” program for their respective countries. In fact, Mr. Limbstrong, one of the foreign astronauts had even come down and done a test run. “I have practiced the walk in so many simulators but I must say this ranks right up among all of them”. Speaking to reporters backstage, Mr. Limbstrong even remarked to a few reporters in private that he fears losing his job to outsourcing. He said that he found Thakur Village residents walking so skillfully in and around the giant crater sized holes and that too without any formal training, that he feared that his space program may terminate all of them and simply outsource it to any local resident of Thakur Village, given their skills at walking and dodging anything without even a hitch.
As a pleasant side effect of this development, Parents have noted that their children are revolting against the idea of a white-skinned “Bob The Builder” in their favorite television serial. They have now got together and are going to petition the Cartoon TV Network to introduce an Indian looking Bob the Builder and some of them have even clicked the local supervisors as possible makeover faces for the popular character. One of the residents, Mr. TodFodWala remarked that in protest his kid has stopped watching TV and that allows him to watch the channels that he wants to see.
This is not all. This sudden achievement has also fostered innovation among various local entrepreneurs. Mr. Physicaldas, who owns a Fitness Gym in the neighborhood has just announced his latest fitness plan called “Reduction-Guaranteed” which is ideal for lazy people who wish to shed their extra kilos. The fitness plan involves walking up and down the main stretch of Thakur Village for 30 minutes in which you will end up consuming around 100 grams of dust subconsciously. Once that set of exercises is complete, it is rounded off by sitting without any seat belts in a 1980s Maharashtra State Transport Bus, which they have specially acquired. This bus will make the rounds of Thakur Village and will ensure that it gives every part of your body a wholesome exercise and best of all, you only have to sit.
Finally, the happiest among the Thakur Village residents are the kids. They are finally convinced that if there is any place that all the Ben10 Aliens shall call home, then it has to be Thakur Village. They are waiting for them to land …..